The feeling of sian-ness!!!

Hello people I'm here to update again.

I know I am a super inconsistent blogger, but that's cos my mood is inconsistent as well...I think.

It doesn't help that I have a love-hate relationship with every weekend. I love it because I have at least one Saturday afternoon/night and Sunday afternoon to get abit more sleep. But I hate that even as I get that extra more few hours of sleep, I worry about alot of other things. Or maybe its only me that suffers from this? I hate the feeling of going to bed thinking "I should wake up at XXX time as I still have XXXXX amount of things to do". When can I sleep with no worries?

The only time I slept without knowing that time and work existed was probably last weekend when I had a high fever. But obviously it doesn't feel good when you're sick. Lol but I think the only benefit was that I had lots of sleep. At least you feel you're sleeping.

I am not exaggerating but there is simply NOTHING in my life that excites or spices things up at all. No shopping, no hanging out with friends, no LMAO sessions, I don't even read/watch shows about my favourite skin care anymore. If I have time, I'd wanna hit the bed. Or maybe idle around worrying about NOTHING.

Lol now I feel that this entry is probably of no meaning at all other than trying to put off doing csc essay a little longer. I have to stop feeling so empty. I don't wanna look back on my teenage years but have nothing to remember other than the feeling of emptiness. I'm 17 damn it and I should be having fun.

Then again, my personality won't allow me to have fun. Lol.

Last night's lost of control was super unlike me but oh well. There is a maximum amount of tolerance that anyone can feel.

NOW I HAVE THE URGE TO GO OUT AND BUY SOME FASHION MAGAZINE TO READ AND STRIKE OUT CSC ESSAY FROM MY LIST OF WORRIES. CAN I GET SOME GETAWAY DURING THE WEEKENDS FOR ONCE? PROPERLY?

Nothing but rants in this post. But I don't care. I'm so sian and even angry to some extent about how boring my life is. RAH!!